Disclaimer: Please do not respond to this with "Not all men….". That goes without saying.
I was having a discussion in one of my group chats over the weekend about the question that seems to pop up every 5 minutes on social media about what black women bring to the table.
I specify black women because this is a question that is almost always presented when black women speak about what they require or what they deserve. But that's a whole different conversation.
What I do find pertinent to this question is the absence of the table that black women are being asked to bring things to.
If I am walking around carrying the heaviness of what I have to offer (because what I bring to the table holds weight), is there a table stable enough for me to put it down?
You will know what I bring to the table when you provide the table.
You want to be worshipped so bad but you are presenting no altar.
You are presenting no sacred space for me to be truly vulnerable and feel safe and cared for.
You are presenting no commitment, consistency, connection or compassion.
Black women have been valuable since the beginning of time.
Before you ask a black woman what she brings to the table, DON'T.
In the same way that we know that if a man wants to, he will (here's a good blog on that https://sipsometee.com/blog-posts/if-they-wanted-to-they-would-a-short )….if a woman feels safe, SHE WILL.
If you are a woman reading this, stop justifying why you deserve what you desire.
If you are a man reading this, stop devaluing black women.
If you want her, create a safe space for her.
XOXO,
Brandi Nikkale