I often call myself the queen of execution. When I get an idea and I feel strongly about it, I pull the trigger. I rarely hesitate. This is mostly a gift.
This is how I moved to California.
This is how I went to grad school.
This is how I wrote and published four books.
This is how I started this blog.
This is how I secured a six figure salary.
I don't usually hesitate.
Story time: I have wanted to book a photoshoot for myself for a long time. I am a fan of documenting your life when you can. When I turned 30, the urge became stronger to document that. I wanted to get cute and have a professional photoshoot. I deserve.
My train of thought: I am 30 and I am my most confident. I need to document this! The people need to see this!!
(The people = me)
When I found out that a photographer I had been stalking on social media for years had moved to California, I went on her website preparing for her to be way out of my price range and SURPRISE...she wasn't. And as previously mentioned, I am the queen of execution. I emailed her and booked it.
After booking it, I went on with my life as if I hadn't booked it. Then I looked up and I had 48 hours before the shoot. And guess what? I was not at all ready. I started to ask myself why I was not ready and the answers were not what I was expecting.
I had gained more quarantine weight. In fact, I was at my heaviest. If you know me, you know that I love my body at all sizes but this posed a challenge for the clothes in my closet. No matter how fine I am in my mind, my clothes ain't getting bigger to accommodate all the extra fineness.
One of the outfits that I was planning to wear was a semi-crop top and guess who burned their stomach cooking? This girl. I'm not talking a little burn either. This was a painful open wound deep tissue burn honey. Not ideal.
The nail shop was closed so my 5 week old nails were really hanging on for dear life. If you know me, you know I am a nail girl so this hurt my heart.
I just did not feel like my best self. At some points, you feel like that bitch and at some points, you don't. This particular week, I just didn't feel it.
I had 2 choices: reschedule or show up.
Because I am a self-proclaimed #baddie and I encourage other women to walk in that as well, I decided that the only acceptable option was to show up.
I am glad I decided to show up. Showing up was my way of showing my fleeting emotions who's boss. (It's me, I'm boss).
Even if you don't feel your best, your best self still resides in you.
The bad bitch is in there waiting on you to show up for her.
Show up for her.
Want to see my pics? Head over to BrandiNikkale.com for a sneak peek and follow me on IG @BrandiNikkale to see them soon and very soon!
XOXO,
Baddie B
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